There are hundreds of flowers in this garden now, I suppose, but some of the ones I noticed first are listed here for the sake of illustration. The largest and most prominent flowers, of course, are related to my unending gratitude towards Papa for how He has prepared, sustained, held onto, pursued, patiently listened while I went through the past several months. I can see His fingerprints so clearly everywhere I look as I gaze into the past and glance around at the present. His "stubborn love" has chased me down so many times that I cannot begin to count them. His grace has flooded me with peace more times than I can ever enumerate. His people have reached out to me at just the right time innumerable times. No wonder, then that the fragrance of His faithfulness and love permeates every corner of this garden of gratitude.
But there are other flowers in this garden as well. I am truly grateful for the new understanding of and sensitivity towards singles that God has given to me through my newly single condition. My respect and esteem for single folks knows no end now, and I would not have gotten here without walking in their shoes, and I am grateful. The same thing, of course, is true for those who have suffered loss. I trust that I have always been somewhat compassionate in that regard, but there's something about experiencing deep loss oneself that opens the heart in new ways, and I am grateful for this new level of tenderness and pray that Papa will make me ever more tender even as He heals me over the months ahead. I am also increasingly grateful for 41 remarkable years of marriage to a truly amazing woman, for years of being so well cared for, so loved, so listened to and supported--I could go on but you get the picture. And I could list many more flowers in this garden--the list seems endless, but I will stop here.
So how did this garden grow? I don't know for sure. I do know that gratitude is a growing attitude of the heart, not so much something you do but something that flows from who you are becoming. But I did notice a few things in my journey that may help others. Please note, though, that these are not "oughts" and "shoulds," but just observations that may become an invitation to others.
So how did this garden grow? I don't know for sure. I do know that gratitude is a growing attitude of the heart, not so much something you do but something that flows from who you are becoming. But I did notice a few things in my journey that may help others. Please note, though, that these are not "oughts" and "shoulds," but just observations that may become an invitation to others.
A pattern of thankfulness. Long ago I heard Ron Mehl say that he started each day with noting at least one thing that he was truly thankful for. Something about that stuck with me, and from that day many year ago to this one I have always started my journaling with thanksgiving. Over the years I have added scriptures that help to foster this, but it's the pattern of beginning (and often ending) the day with a deliberate choice to thank God for specific things that has ingrained something in my heart. Perhaps that it why "give thanks" is an action we are commended to so often. Gratitude is indeed an attitude of the heart, but it appears to be supported by the deliberate choice to give thanks, looking for something good even in the darkest hour. Anyway, it's something I noticed when I looked at my life and may have something to do with the garden of gratitude that now grows in me.
Learning where I was looking for fulfillment. Over the years Papa has patiently and persistently shown me that much of my "looking" was not to Him. This is too long a subject to address here, but the point is that as I asked Him to show me where I was looking for purpose, security, fulfillment, etc., He was willing to answer. His invitation to trust in Him alone came then because He knows that anything other than Him will not lead to what I am looking for. Only He can satisfy, only relationship with Him can fulfill and sustain us, as we all know. But this sounds trite and artificial unless we take time to allow Him to show us where our trust and affection really go when we let them have their way. Father is more than willing to show us and then also gently lead us to Himself if we ask Him. It wasn't surprising, then, for me to discover during this long and often painful journey that Father had been preparing me all along for "such a time as this" so that I found my heart running to Him almost instinctively, almost all of the time. Yes, there were times when I was angry, afraid, confused, defeated, etc., but it was hard to stay that way while aware of His Presence! And this feeds the flowers of gratitude in many ways, of course.
The Community around me. Those around us can either encourage or drain gratitude. If most of the folks around you simply commiserate with you, you will find it hard to be grateful. On the other hand, if most of the folks around us comfort us with well meaning but empty words, that doesn’t help either (just makes us aggravated, eh?). But if we are surrounded by folks who know when to be still and just let us vent, when to “hold us” and when to gently but firmly lead us to a different perspective (God’s perspective) then gratitude becomes more and more natural. I am completely surrounded by such a community (and I am grateful)! My prayer is that Papa gives you a community like this as well. (I did notice that it helps to initiate these qualities oneself!).
Childlikeness. Living in wonder, aware of and thankful for the small things in the moment, clinging wildly to Papa when we can do nothing other than cling and collapse, helps too, I think. I could write more, but this article is already too long!
Surrender. I have written much about this, and those of you who read this blog know by now that surrender is surrender to God's goodness, not resignation to circumstances. The point here, though, is that gratitude grows best in surrendered soil. As long as I grasp for control and demand understanding I am blinded to the very things for which I can be grateful. My vision clears as I live in increasing abandonment to the One who is Good. Nuff said...
Gratefully,
Tom, one of Abba's little boys
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