Compelled by Love to Follow Him

"So they pulled their boats to shore, left everything and followed him." (Luke 5:11).

What was it about Jesus that caused Andrew, Simon (Peter), James and John to walk away from everything and follow Him? It was, I believe, the compelling love and undeniable power they experienced in Jesus' presence.

I used to believe that Jesus just walked up to these fishermen, called to them to follow HIm and they just up and left without any discernible reason. Now, of course, I know that long before Jesus called him by Sea of Galilee, Andrew had, along with John (we think), spent an entire day with Jesus, and that day in His presence convinced both Andrew and John that Jesus was Messiah. So spending a day in Jesus’ presence led to an openness to “discipleship” for Andrew and John and probably Simon and James as well. And during that first encounter with Jesus, Simon experienced powerfully experienced Jesus’ love because it was in that first encounter that Jesus “rocked” Simon’s world by giving him a new name, “Rock”! (see John 1:35-42 for the whole story). So all four of these men who were later invited by Jesus to leave everything and become "fishers of men" were men who had first been touched by Jesus' love in some life-altering way.

Secondly, when Jesus gave the invitation to these men to leave all and follow Him, it was in the context of miraculous power. Before He gave the invitation to follow Him, He demonstrated His power by the miraculous catch of fishes that Simon experienced and led to his acute awareness of his sinfulness! (See Luke 5:1-11 for the whole story).

So what compelled these men to become His disciples? It was, in my opinion, the compelling love they (and most others) felt when in His presence, plus the unmistakable demonstration of His power.

So what you say? What if that is still the case? What if the reason “following Jesus” is so hard for most Christians is that they are doing so without a tangible encounter of His compelling love and an undeniable experience of His power that He brings when He comes? What if the the intended "method" for making disciples is to begin with an experience of Jesus' presence that oozes love and power? It is sad to me that so many people “try harder” to be followers of Jesus in a vacuum where He mostly an idea rather than an experienced, supernatural Presence. And I wonder if it would see more disciples (Dallas Willard calls them "apprentices") if the encounter we owe people with Jesus' love and power were our first means of invitation.

Just wondering...

Tom, one of Abba's children

Un-Punishable

I am reading another remarkable book by Danny Silk, Culture of Honor. I am not done reading it yet, so I am not saying that I recommend it to you, but it does contain some amazing insights and so far mostly rings true with my understanding of Father God and His Word.

One thing I truly love about the book (and Danny's previous book, Loving Our Kids On Purpose) is Danny's reminder that we are to live as people of the NEW Covenant, as people who are truly forgiven and no longer subject to condemnation or punishment. To make this point in his latest book, Danny coins a new term: "Un-punishable." It's amazing, though, how many believers and churches still live in atmosphere of behavior-orientation that is expecting punishment and ready to mete it out on those who get out of line. This completely misses the point of the Gospel, of course, and leads to the "practice of the Christian religion" rather than the passionate living out of the life of the Kingdom of love.

But are we really un-punishable? Has God indeed laid upon Jesus the punishment that brings us peace? (See Isaiah 53:5). Sounds like it to me. See what you think. 1 John 4:18-19 (NIV) says, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us." It seems to me that John is telling us that the more we grasp Father's love for us, the more we move away from the idea that He is waiting and wanting to punish us.

I suppose we could list many reasons why punishment needs to be taken out of the way in order for us to be in healthy relationship with God and one another, but one that stands out to me is how punishment (and the focus on behavior related to it) speaks of coerced behavior, something designed to make me do something. You see, I am sure, that loving relationships can never be forced or compelled by outward pressure. In this we see the amazing kindness of God, don't we!! He so wanted a loving relationship with us that He paid the ultimate price to remove punishment from the equation so that our lives would honor Him because of our ever growing love for Him. And that ever growing love is a response to our ever increasing knowledge of His love for us (Ephesians 3:14-21 comes to mind here).

It's important to remove fear from the relationship equation. Relationships also require trust and fear is the opposite of trust. Furthermore, fear leads to a desire to control, and once control kicks in we eliminate the possibility for a loving relationship (at least temporarily) because we are back to coercing something that cannot be coerced! Danny has a really good paragraph on this that I want to close my thoughts with this week. It will give you a brief slice of some of the content of this thought-provoking book.

"When we are afraid, we want control, and our responses to the sin of other people are a set of controls that help us feel like we are still in charge. The typical practices of the family, churches and the government are to set a series of behaviors called punishments in front of an offender and require the offender to walk through these in order to prove that the family, churches, and government are still in charge in the environment. In doing so, we help to confirm the belief in the person who has chosen to sin that he or she is powerless to change and take responsibility for his or her behavior. This whole business is just what Jesus died to get rid of. He's introduced a whole other world with a whole other way." (p. 93)

Learning to be less afraid as I learn that I am loved,

Tom, one of Abba's children

Saying "Yes"

For the past five years, December 30th has been the day when God has asked me if I am willing to renew my "Yes" to Him. It has been a little more sobering to consider my answer today than in previous years...more on that in a moment.

On December 30, 2004, I sensed God asking for a "Yes" to a question I had been afraid to consider before that time. Here's what I sensed Him saying: "If you knew for sure that it was I who was acting and speaking, would you let go everything safe and settled to follow me? Would the Church? There is coming such radical change—I am bringing it–-that the familiar will fade away completely. Will you be a part of this? You can be, I want you to be, but you must let go of the familiar and the safe and follow me wherever I lead. You are not doing that yet, child, but I am calling to you. How will you answer me?”

And five years ago, the best I could answer at the time was, "I want to be willing to follow! Please keep working in me to get me there (Philippians 2:13)." And God has graciously answered that prayer many times over since that date.

Last year I found myself again saying "Yes" to Father's invitation to follow Him "off the map." Here's what I wrote: "Papa, this date seems to be the date each year that I am faced with answering whether I will follow you off the map! And as I reflect on all that you have done in me this year—far more than I could have dreamed, and different in some ways than I expected, yet not nearly enough (not until 2 Corinthians 4:7 becomes a reality will I stop pressing in!)—I am compelled again to say yes and ask you to continue doing whatever it takes in me. And as before I ask this not in fear that you will allow some horrible tragedy into my life because you prefer to change us by kindness. But I also know, Father, that just as this year has had its pains and challenges…so much to learn, so much to experience!"

But in spite of my words about God not allowing tragedy, this past year did bring pain to my wife--horrible, terrible pain and fear along with it--and because of my love for her, it brought pain to both of us. And to be honest, I wrestled more than once with whether my saying "Yes" to God to "do whatever it takes" somehow brought this pain on her. Yes, I know that good thinking about God wouldn't go there, but in the midst of the battle, we do find ourselves asking those questions, I think, or at least I did. Thankfully, though, God is not nervous or worried about those questions, and His Presence in the midst of the Valley of the Shadow of Death was extremely obvious to both Jettie and me.

And clarity comes as we cling to Him with our scary questions sticking out in front of us like festering wounds. He speaks and reminds me that He is good, to the core, completely and totally good. He reminds me that He sees all things, even the plans of the enemy, and takes them into account for how He plans to express His goodness to us. He reminds me that our ancestor Adam invited havoc into our world with his choice of "independence" and that havoc is no respecter of persons. He reminds me that His Word is true because it is a reflection of His character and therefore the many promises that are so brilliantly illuminated in the darkness by His Spirit are absolutely trustworthy: He really does deliver us from all our fears; He really is with us in trouble; He really does deliver from our enemies--in short, He really is good: totally, completely good.

And so as this day winds down, and I hear again His question, what can I say but "Yes"? But in ways hard to explain, my "Yes" this year is different. I feel like there is less "me" in it and more of Him in it. There is less bravado on my part, replaced by more awareness of my ineptness and frailty yet without condemnation because there is also more awareness that He really is--beyond our wildest dreams--very, very good! So my "Yes" this year feels "broken" and almost tentative, yet in some ways it is perhaps the best "Yes" I have ever given the One who asks the question of all of us.

Yes, my Abba, yes.

Tom, one of Abba's children

Feeling at home...

Tuesday night Jettie and I spent the night in the Texas Panhandle town of Dalhart, as we headed down to Midland, TX, to spend Christmas with our son and his family. We ate dinner that night in a small town steakhouse and as we left for the hotel something happened that brought tears to my eyes and gave birth to this week's entry.

No, it wasn't an earthshaking event, it was simply a polite nod from a man at one of the tables as we left the restaurant--a cultural expression of greeting common to many parts of Texas. And the reason it brought tears to my eyes is that West Texas has always felt like home to me, more so even than the southern California border town where I grew up. And that simple gesture by an unknown rancher triggered a longing to be "home" (Midland feels most like home to us).

But there is another place that I trust will always feel even more like home to me than West Texas. I'm not sure how to describe it other than to describe it as being at home in God's Manifest Presence or perhaps "In Papa's lap." A little over five years ago, if I had read the previous sentence I would have stared at it with no understanding at all, but by Papa's grace, I do know how to experience His Presence, His lap, and I am amazed that I could have missed this for so long (especially since for years I have written and talked about "intimacy with God"!). And yes, I know that the New Testament teaches that I am in Christ and He is in me, but one can know these things in a rational way without knowing them by experience. And even as I write this I find longing for that experience of His Presence, His embrace, rising within me. Surely God Himself is indeed our shelter, our rock, our fortress, our tower, our Father.

Even under the Old Covenant we see that there are those who knew this. The sons of Korah wrote about this in Psalm 84: "How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God." (vv. 1-2). And now that Jesus has come, Immanuel, God with us, how wonderfully accessible "home" has become to us. If I would "go home" I simply need to still my heart (easier said than done at times, I know), quiet my mind (ditto!) and turn my attention to the One who lives in me and in whom I live. And then, in ways hard to fathom unless you have experienced it, He comes, and we are home.

May you be ever more at home in Papa's lap!

Longing for home (both of them),

Tom, one of Abba's little boys

I meditate on it all day long...

A few years ago I discovered an incredible treasure trove that I had forgotten about: in one of our moves I found all of Jettie's love letters to me from the summer before we were married (in typical fashion she carefully numbered each one of them). It's hard for me to describe the feelings that washed over me when I found them--and even now tears come easily as I write this. And I am sure I don't have to tell you that these letters are of indescribable value to me. Why? Not because of the ink and paper they are made of, not even because of the words themselves. No, these letters, "The Word of Jettie" are treasures to me because of the love relationship that she and I share.

And so it is with God's word. I think it was Andrew Murray who first helped me recognize that Psalm 119 is an incredible prayer not so much about God's word, but about God Himself and the deep, deep love the Psalmist felt from God and for God. In other words, God's law (precepts, statutes, word, etc.) was precious to the writer of Psalm 119 because God was infinitely precious to him.

I write this after having a tender and fierce dialog with God this morning about the dearth of His word in my life. It was not a condemning conversation, but I ended up deeply aware that I along with most western believers lack not only God's overwhelming power in my life but that I have very little of His word "hidden in my heart." No wonder then, that I am still vulnerable at times to fear, to attack from the enemy, to creating an improper image of what God is like in my mind (an idol), etc.!

You see, about 5 years ago I sensed God telling me to put away lots of scripture in my heart, and one of the passages He led me to was Psalm 119 (yikes!). I did indeed start memorizing that psalm (more on that in a moment), but somewhere along the line I gave up. Now, I did memorize other passages (thankfully one of them was Psalm 91 which has been the mainstay in the battle Jettie and I have had for her healing), but Psalm 119 remains to this day only partially in my heart. But that is changing, I trust, with God renewing a few days ago His admonition and invitation to memorize this psalm. And with that admonition came the powerful time of reflection this morning about how little of my thinking is really shaped by God's Word because when I started memorizing the psalm I began in the middle, with verse 97. Verse 97 says, "Oh how I love your law; I meditate on it all day long." Wow. It hits me like a ton of bricks that we cannot meditate on something that isn't committed to memory and that what I therefore end up meditating on is more likely to be the jumbled assortment of truth and lies that assault all of us in the twisted culture of this world.

And so I "repented," not with the shame-based "repentance" of religion, but with the love-based attitude of someone who realizes that he has wounded a friend and missed a great treasure. So I am asking God to create in me a longing for His word that grows out of our love relationship. I am asking Him to help me treasure His word far more even than I treasure those love letters from Jettie. I doubt that this hunger will reach its maximum level overnight, but it's already growing in me, along with a renewed longing simply for Him.

And I am reflecting now on the state of the western church--we carry Bibles in our hands, on our cell phones, on our computers. I wonder if it's really a blessing to do so! If I have it with me, somehow I may come to believe that it's in me! And I wonder if the reason spiritual awakening hasn't happened is due as much to unfamiliarity with God's Word (and therefore with the God who gave us His word) as it is a lack of His inundating power.

Just wondering, praying, thinking...

Tom, one of Abba's children

Religion is SOOO Sneaky!

I was reading a devotional this past week and was amazed to see yet another blatant way that performance-based religion is at the heart of what many sincere folks call the Christian life! For some reason, even though believers say, "It's a relationship, not a religion," many of them are far more about "pleasing God" and about "should and ought" than about living in the freedom of God's total acceptance of them through Jesus. The following is pulled from my journal. See if you can catch the subtle ways that religion creeps in, even with long-time believers!

Papa! How subtle religion is! The ___ devotional is themed around a wonderful idea, but the following sentence illustrates the subtlety of religion: “As Christians, we are called to be ‘A holy priesthood, …acceptable to God through Christ Jesus’ (1 Peter 2:5), yet we are aware that there may be times when we fail to live up to that calling, and drift into the ways of the world.” But that's not what this passage says! We are not “called to be,” we are called ‘a holy priesthood…” It’s something you say we already are! But religion is constantly telling us what we are not something and telling us to try harder! Ah, Father! No wonder it takes us so long to break free. Not so long ago I would not have even seen this subtle trick of the enemy! Thank you for being so patient with me, so kind as you worked again and again to change my heart and bring me to true “repentance” (change of thinking).

Ah, Father. Even the translations cannot be trusted at times! 1 Corinthians 1:2 is translated by many translations “called to be holy/saints,” yet it literally reads, “called saints/holy ones”! And the same thing happens in Romans 1:7 (same Greek phrase). It’s not entirely wrong, of course, to say that we are “called to be saints,” if we hear that as our current state and our continuing destiny, but most people read it “called to try to become” instead of “called to live in something that I already am.” And the extreme importance of making this distinction is underscored even more when we realize that Paul was addressing the Corinthian church and calling them saints even though they were hardly acting like saints!

I trust that you can catch the difference here. To use the passage from 1 Peter as a reference, we are already a holy priesthood, etc., and as we live out the implications of who we are through the power of the Holy Spirit (surrendered to His loving guidance, interacting with His as we live life), we more and more look like what God declares us to be. On the other hand, if we don't realize that we are already saints, sons, priests, etc., we will try hard to become that because we think that's what God requires in order for us to be acceptable to Him.

I could write volumes on this, of course, but today I will simply refer you back to Bo's Cafe, TrueFaced, and Graham Cooke's excellent chapter on "Performance Christianity" in his excellent little book, Towards a Powerful Inner Life. I close with a quote from Graham.

"Performance-oriented people...rely on self-effort rather than acceptance in Christ as the foundation of their experience. However, they rightly express that 'Faith without works is dead.' But they do not understand that works which are not dependent upon acceptance of and faith in what God is doing in us can never provide what God seeks to release. The fact is, we pray, witness, serve, read Scripture, and attend meetings not to reach out to God but to express our sheer enjoyment that He is reaching out to us. It is how we celebrate His love. He is with us. He is for us, and we wriggle with the pleasure of His joy in us. He sings over us. He laughs at our enemies. He forgives so readily. He understands us completely."

Wow. Keep us wriggling with the pleasure of your joy, Papa!

Tom, one of Abba's children

Is It God's Voice?

Followers of this blog know that I write fairly often about hearing God's voice. Hearing Him is foundational to everything (how can one have a relationship without frequent and varied communication?). But no one hears His voice perfectly (run from someone who acts like they do!). So, how do we know if it's really God's voice? After all, most of the time, God's voice, our own thoughts, and thoughts injected by the enemy sound quite similar. To answer this question, I turn to one of my favorite mentors, Smith Wigglesworth. Smith Wigglesworth learned to hear God well, and he told many sad stories about those who weren't wise in discerning the source of "the voice." Following are some key thoughts about how we can avoid following the wrong voice (with a few comments from me as well). These are taken from various spots in his works but can be found all in one place in the Smith Wigglesworth Devotional (Whitaker House).

First, don't be afraid to test what you are hearing. Obviously, the first test is against Scripture itself, and the more full of God's word you are, the more capable you will be at distinguishing God's voice. "If a voice comes and tells you what to do, if a person comes and says he has a special prophecy given him for you, you have as much right to ask God for that prophecy as they had to give it to you, and you have as much right to judge that prophecy according to the Word of God." Simple, isn't it? But I continue to be amazed at how many people "hear God" tell them things that violate God's character and will as revealed in Scripture! Smith also suggests a second test, from 1 John 4:2-3. "When a voice comes, no matter how it seems to you, you must test it. When it is persistently pressing you...you have a position in the power of the Word of God to say to this evil power, 'Did Jesus come in the flesh?' (1 John 4:3). And the satanic power will say no. But the Spirit of the Living God, the Holy Spirit, always says yes. We have to live in the place of knowing Scriptures and listening to His voice so that we are able to divinely discern whether these voices are of God or not."

Second, use common sense and test things against the general flavor of Scripture. Some more thoughts from Smith Wigglesworth:

"What do I read about the wisdom of God? It is full of peace and gentleness; it is willing to submit; it is without partiality; it is full of goodness and truth. (See James 3:17)...if these voices take away your peace, you will know they are not the will of God. But if the Spirit speaks, He will bring harmony and joy. The Spirit always brings three things: comfort, exhortation, and edification."

"If you are wild, that is the Devil. If you go breathlessly to the Bible looking for confirmation of the voice, that is the Devil. The Word of God brings light."

"The voice came with such tremendous force that she could not let it go...God will never do anything like that. He will never send you an unreasonable, unmanageable message."

"It is satanic to feel that God has a special message for you and that you are someone more special than anyone else. Every place that God brings you in a rising tide of perfection is a place of humility, brokenness of heart, and fullness of surrender..."

Third, listen to God in community with others. Anything you hear that is directional, correctional, etc., should not be kept to yourself. God has given us a loving and listening community to help us sort out whether or not what we are hearing is truly His voice (or if it is His voice, what the timing and other aspects of it are). Nowhere is this seen more clearly in Scripture than in the Apostle Paul's life--although he had as definite an encounter with the Lord Jesus as anyone, he chose not to embark on his life mission as an apostle until the community of believers around him heard God say, "It is time!" (see Acts 13--this incident happened about 13-17 years after Paul's encounter with Jesus on the Damascus road!).

Smith Wigglesworth says about a deceived person: "What did the Devil say next? 'You keep this a secret. Don't tell anybody...' Now that is surely as satanic as anything you have ever heard in your life, because every true thing, every holy thing, does not need to be kept a secret under any circumstances. Anything that is holy can be shouted from the housetops; God wants you to be able to tell all."

"If you are right and everybody else is wrong, I don't care who you are, if you cannot bear examination, if what you hold cannot bear the light of the truth, you are wrong... It is a very serious thing when nobody else knows but you."

I welcome your thoughts and comments. In a nutshell, we can answer the question, "Is it God's voice?" by being so steeped in Scripture that we know not only its content but also the character of the One whom it reveals. Also, we can use common sense and measure whether what we are hearing brings peace, harmony, joy, etc., and discern whether what we are hearing is "forced" or pushy to the point of compulsion/obsession. And by always, always being willing to humbly submit what we are hearing to others who hear God with us.

Listening carefully,

Tom, one of Abba's children