"I just can't imagine any final outcome that would justify all of this (pain)." "Mackenzie...we aren't justifying it. We are redeeming it." (Papa to Mack, The Shack, p. 127)
Last week I closed with the question, "Would God allow pain into our lives?" and suggested that the "yes" answer to that was beyond our understanding. Those words have come back to haunt me for a number of reasons but mostly because of the slippery slope that attaches itself to misunderstanding the phrase "God allows." As least for me, if I picture God as acting like some kind of gatekeeper who routes some painful things away from me and some towards me "for my good" (which the term "God allows" can suggest), I find it hard to trust Him. So...here's what I have been thinking and reflecting on. Perhaps some of it will be helpful to you.
I find it easier to trust God if I remember that He is a loving Father, not a disciplinarian or despot. As a Father whose children live in a fallen world where evil abounds, He dare not shield us from all of it, lest we be unable to cope with life in such a broken world. Just as a good parent allows his/her children to learn by experience even in the context of pain, so God as the perfect Parent does the same. And because He is loving, totally loving, it is possible to trust even when we don't understand (I didn't say easy, but possible!).
Second, it helps me a great deal to remember that "God allows" things only in the sense that His overall purpose requires that His creatures exercise free will. This free will, exercised in the "first rebellion" by Adam and Eve, has "allowed" all kinds of evil and pain to enter our current world. This would be a rather gloomy thought if we didn't also remember that in His sovereign purpose God will somehow redeem everything in a way that will astound us all. In other words, in some way that is beyond our comprehension, God will indeed work things out in a way that will be undeniably and totally good without violating the free (and often stupid) choices of His creatures. This hope is what keeps us "sane" when hell breaks loose all around us, and only in clinging to God in this hope are we able to make sense of the horrific things that we sometimes see and even experience. Some day..., some day...
Third, it has been remarkably clear to me during our terrible/wonderful journey to realize that God does indeed "shout in our pain" as C. S. Lewis suggested. I cannot tell you how loudly and persistently God has been shouting His love, His promises, His affection, etc., to Jettie and me over and over again during this journey. And there has been a constancy in Him so that He has reached out to and supported and shown grace to no matter how I was behaving at the time. This is quite remarkable, really, but makes perfectly good sense because the greatest good that God brings out of anything is a further revelation of who He is (and He is blinding us with His goodness at times, especially when He shouts in our pain!).
I close with some thoughts from The Shack (p. 185), which I have been re-reading of late to help me regain perspective. In response to Mack's question about his little girl, Missy, having to die in order for him (Mack) to experience God's love, Papa says, "Mack, just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean I orchestrate the tragedies. Don't ever assume that my using something means I caused it or that I need it to accomplish my purposes. That will only lead you to false notions about me. Grace doesn't depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors."
Finding grace, amazing grace in many colors, in the midst of pain, whining, worrying and some moments of trust,
Tom, one of Abba's children
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