Thursday, May 6, 2010

Strategic Collapse, Refreshing Words, and God's Fingerprints

     "I don't understand." I have said these words quite often over these past few months as I have watched my wife wrestle with illness and pain. Recently as I thought those words, God brought to mind one of our theme passages for the journey to healing, Proverbs 3:5-6. I was as if He were saying, "Of course you don't understand. That's why I invite you to trust me and not your ability to understand." And that led me to remember Graham Cooke's frequent statements about not placing confidence in what God is doing but in Who He is, His character and nature.
     So does that mean we can never grasp what He is doing at the moment? Not at all. Jesus Himself obviously was able to see what Father was doing because that's what He Himself would do (John 5:19). But the key, I think, is to be content with whatever He chooses to show us (which He usually does because He is inviting us to join Him in it.). The rest of what He is doing, which we cannot see, is where the invitation to trust Him comes into play, eh?
     But this is easier said than done, of course, especially when someone you love is in a lot of pain. In fact, I am beginning to think that pain is one of the things that is most likely to turn us back to our own resources. When it persists longer than we think it should, we begin to look at ourselves and wonder what we are doing wrong, etc. This, of course, is a totally useless action since it turns us away from the only One who can help us. But it seems to happen a lot in my experience. I guess it's because pain makes one feel so helpless, and that leads to fear, and fear leads to attempts to "do something," and that turns the focus back upon me (and leaning on my own understanding).
     So what am I to do when my mind is screaming for answers? Three things come to mind. The first I have written about a lot. This time I will call it "strategic collapse." Psalm 56:3 is the key verse for me in understanding this: "When I am afraid, I will lean upon, collapse into You." Note that this is not resignation, which is succumbing to circumstances. This is rest through surrendering to God's embrace and focusing on His face. I like the way Graham Cooke describes how this works in Towards a Powerful Inner Life:“When the soul comes under the rule of the spirit, life and peace are the result. Suddenly, we don’t have to know everything; we just become wise about where to stand at any given moment. We don’t know how everything will pan out, but we learn to be happy with the process of getting there. We become fixated on holding God’s hand, and not worried about the trouble around us.”
     The second thing that helps me is to refresh (more accurately, have the Holy Spirit refresh) the many promises God makes to us from the Scriptures. I have lost count of how many strategic scriptures He has given Jettie and me for this current journey, but because many of them are memorized or at least very familiar to us now, they form an almost constant stream of communication from Holy Spirit to our spirits and it is a stream that always leads to Father's embrace and the peace that comes therein.
     The third thing that helps me is to look back at "God's fingerprints." Although we cannot see the present things God is doing with much clarity, we can see the traces of His activity in the past. One reason I keep a journal is to trace His fingerprints. It's amazing how encouraging it can be to look back and see one evidence after another of God's work in our lives. And I call them fingerprints because we see only the smallest glimpse of what Father's Hand was really doing! But those fingerprints are enough to restore assurance that He is indeed working "in the dark" in the present!

Collapsing often, living refreshed, marveling at His fingerprints.

Tom, one of Abba's little boys

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