Sidelined Into What Really Matters

     First, for you non-sports types, to be sidelined is to be taken out of the game and put on the sidelines because of injury, poor performance or change in game strategy, etc.

     From the perspective of some, I have been "sidelined" twice this year: first when budget cuts moved my denominational role to a voluntary status (i.e., I was laid off) and more recently when Jettie and I faced a crisis in her health (which God is winning) that required me for several weeks to give virtually all of my attention to caring for her and the household. But from my perspective (and God's, I think), I have been taken out of the "game" (what didn't matter nearly as much as one would think!) to the things that really matter.

     The first sidelining, earlier this year, allowed me time to pursue God and follow His leading with absolutely no restrictions. How amazing is that!!!? I also found myself getting to examine what really matters in terms of living more simply, more freely. So I was indeed sidelined into things that really matter.

     But this latest trip to the sidelines has been a far more incredible journey into what really matters. More than once as I have rubbed Jettie's back to help with her pain I have whispered to her things like, "I cannot believe how privileged I am to be allowed to serve you like this! Not many husbands get to love their wives like this." and "Do you realize how sacred and holy such times like this are--wow! And we sense God's presence so strongly right now."

     Now lest you think I am some sort of super-husband, let me assure you that there were also many times where I would moan and whine about the stress, the work load, the stretching (grocery shopping at Walmart about did me in the first time). But overall, throughout this journey I have had this deep conviction that more than any previous time in my life, I am doing what matters. And God seems quite bent on reinforcing that thought very regularly. Just yesterday as I was serving Jettie at a time I usually hang out with Him in the Secret Place, He whispered to me, "You are worshiping me right now, child!" (Later I thought of Hebrews 13:16).

     So today I find myself marveling at God's kindness. A few years ago I would not have been able to see what I see so clearly now. I was still in "The Matrix" that illusory world of performance-based religion that has nothing to do with the Kingdom of God. My worth was tied up in what I did, and what I did had to be "impactful" and visible and ...well, you get the picture. But Father has done something wonderful in me over the past few years in spite of my stubbornness at times: He as given me the gift of living loved and of beginning to believe what He says about me/us. I am filled with wonder and gratitude even as I write these words, and I grieve for those who still believe that I have been taken out of the game...

     By the way, a man named Roberston McQuilkin walked this kind of journey for far longer and to much greater depths than I have and gave up everything to care for his wife, Muriel, during her descent into dementia and death. You can read his amazing story in his book, A Promise Kept. I haven't read the book, but I was very aware of his story as he walked it out, and I can assure you that this man knew what it meant to give himself to what really matters (and that in the face of voices who questioned why he would leave "important position and influence" just to care for his wife).

      Enough for now. I again recommend that you read Bo's Cafe if you haven't done so. I may post a few more thoughts about it next week.

Caring more and more about what really matters,

Tom, one of Abba's children