So...the discussion continues, eh? Thank you, Alex and Scott, for your comments on last week's blog. Alex, your summary of things is really right in line with how I also would express things.
Scott...well, I want to honor your request for honest input. And up front let me say that I agree with you that we are all essentially saying the same thing and that part of what appears to be variance is simply due to where we fall in the "five-fold" ministry gifts to the church (you are "evangelist," I am "prophet/shepherd"). I also want to say that I deeply respect and trust you and rejoice in what I know God is doing in and around you and that I trust your ability to hear Him and obey Him. And I honor your deep desire to learn--for me lifelong learning is an essential quality of all who would finish well.
So...first, to all who read this blog, you won't really understand me very well unless you are familiar with writers like Andrew Murray, A.W. Tozer, Brother Lawrence, Bill Johnson, Dallas Willard, et al. And you will do well to read my paper on intimacy and mission (on my website which has a link on this blog).
Second, as to how I have been brought to this paradigm shift, Scott, it wasn't really because of reaction to an overly busy experience of church life. Rather, like you, I could no longer live with the dissonance between what I read in the Bible in describing the advance of God's Kingdom and what I saw in the church around me. It was actually my desire to see God's people reach the harvest through a genuine "Gospel of the Kingdom, salt and light, power-not-mere-words" approach that led me to seek God's face. In the process of my reaching out for supernatural power, I encountered Him in a way that turned all previous understandings of the Christian life upside down. And the paradigm changes continue unabated. So I guess I would describe what happened to me more as a response to an invitation from God rather than a reaction to things around me. (But we all would also say, of course, that much of what is called "church" at present is more cultural than anything else and therefore ineffective, so yes, there is reaction as well, I think).
Third, Scott, I share your aversion to self-centered, consumer-based "churchianity." I am grieved that for whatever reason the message of repentance, surrender and joyful obedience has been hidden from many. I am sad that the message of righteousness, peace and joy has been lost and in its place a weak, "add-on-to-your-life-but-don't-change-things" message has been given. I could go on, but I think y'all get my drift.
Fourth, what brings me joy? My list would be similar to yours, I think. Living loved, living loving, being free from having to do anything but getting to do lots of things in His power--doing what I see Father doing--this all brings me great joy. Spending hours in His presence, listening, praying and then watching His presence on me affect those around me with desire for Him brings me joy. Watching demons tremble then flee at the name of Jesus, brings me joy. Being able to "read someone's heart" in a way that sets them free from shame and guilt that has tormented them for years--that brings me joy. Taking the time to listen intently to a little child whom others ignore--that brings me joy. Being able to focus fully on the person in front of me that communicates deep care and concern because of God's deep care for them--that brings me joy. If I could summarize, I think I would point everyone to how joy is described in John's Gospel. Jesus lived in that joy and bestowed it on those who follow Him.
I hope this helps, not only you, Scott, but others as well. As I have probably said before, the bottom line for me usually comes down to two questions: "Whom am I trusting at any given moment?" and "On whom am I really depending at any given moment?" For me, it takes living a peaceful, almost mystical, life to be able to answer "God" to those questions with consistency. Perhaps for others, that is not the case. All I know is that in the past 4 1/2 years since this journey started I have been more fruitful than the previous 55 years of my life. And the sheer joy of living this way is too great not to give away...
This is long enough for this time, methinks.
May each of you become ever more God-blinded in this new year!
Tom, Daddy's little boy
2 comments:
thanks for the honesty. I appreciate your willingness to describe your thought processes and how you have come from point A to point B.
Correctly and beautifully, we are very different.
I continue to feel drawn to read and process and attempt to understand your processes because there is a lot for me to learn within them - so i am really, sincerely trying. thank you for your patience with questions and queries - they come from a place of love and listening, and a desire to learn and grow. If you are committed to writing honestly, i'm committed to scratching my head and asking questions. God bless you this new year!
also, I hear that you will be in town in the next month or so, and also meeting in Utah with Dan Smith (from Pullman) - i'm going to try to cross paths there as well. I hope to process some things with you during those times if possible.
Scott - I look forward to getting to see you and John in LV here at the end of the month. I hope we can have time to hear all about what God is doing in each other's lives. I don't really think these things are mutually exclusive of each other. It is just that God has been leading both Tom and I in a very similar them it appears. I hope you don't get the feeling that anything we may have said comes off as like "your missing out." I have always been scratching my head about a lot of things in ministry and mission - and this was coming from a pretty spontaneous/missional church that I was in for nearly 15 years. God has just taken us square one without our permission (well, okay, maybe we did pray that He could do anything so we could know Him deeper), and so it has afforded us the space and time to take a fresh look at the simple path. It's very exciting to hear about what the Father is up to in your guys in LV, and I could probably get a little jealous if I let myself, but Father has been very clear that He has right where He wants us, and the process is to still unpack our lives until nothing is left but Him. Amazing how long that takes ... but I would not have it any other way right now ... so that is probably what comes out in our writings. But let's meet and talk soon!
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