The View From Beneath The Snake's Belly

     Many of you have probably heard "lower than a snake's belly" used as a description for feeling down or depressed. As one who is personally and intimately acquainted with depression, I want to share very transparently today about the view from beneath the snake's belly. I write for three main reasons: First, I want to give hope to those who live from time to time under the snake's belly. Second, I want to help folks who rarely experience depression to understand how to help those who do, instead of making things worse! Third, I am, quite frankly, writing for therapeutic reasons as well, since I am as I write under the snake's belly myself! (I will explain this a little later).
     I write from the perspective of one who has considerable experience with depression. I struggled with bi-polar disease until I was miraculously healed of it in 2004. I remember tracking my "up" and "down" periods in my journal for years and years. The highs were great, but the lows were terrible, and I am thankful that my occasional really dark, death-considering thoughts were overcome by Father's love. Please note that I never had to resort to medication during these many years, but I did experience severe and cyclical depression, so I cannot even begin to describe to you what it was like to realize early in 2004 that the depression had simply disappeared (as had been prophesied to me by a pastor friend and my son, Josh!).
     Because of my long experience with depression, I recognized its occasional return during the painful battle for Jettie's life and especially during the season of mourning that has followed her death. No, I haven't returned to the previous emotional roller coaster ride, but I have been dragged unwillingly into the pit at certain times of the year. I am in one of those seasons right now because my inner clock remembers that two years ago I was staying almost 24/7 in the hospice center waiting for the unthinkable. So I am depressed! What a great time to write about it, eh?
     Now for a few pointers for those who haven't experienced depression. 

• First, if you haven't experienced severe depression please don't give advice about being depressed to those who are depressed! Those who have never experienced real depression are often puzzled as to why the depressed person doesn't just "get over it." But depression isn't something you just "get over." Depression holds a person in its grip against their will and by its very nature drains away the desire to make the changes necessary to get free from it. It blinds its victim to anything except the darkness and deceives him/her into believing that "now is forever." It has many causes, yes, and can be addressed and healed, but quoting "upbeat Bible verses" or saying trite sayings or asking pointed questions only makes things worse. So what can you do? Read on...
• Second, the greatest gift you can give a depressed person, in my opinion, is simply to listen while resisting the urge to fix them or the things they are depressed about. Just hold onto them, embracing their heart with yours while living in Father's love and peace as you do. Don't panic--your being afraid won't help! Just be the listening ear and heart and watch what God does. If He does indeed have something more than this for you to do, you can be sure He will make it clear to you. He loves and pursues all of His kids down into the very depths of the pit of despair (I speak from experience, as you might guess).
• Third, if you see someone struggling a lot with depression, gently guide them to someone who really can help them. God's healing extends to depressed people too! I am not only personally aware of this, I have also watched Him heal many whom I love (although some are still in process). But severe depression is not to be taken lightly, so whether you are the helping friend or you are the one who needs help, please make choices towards healing.

     Now for those of us who are the "depressees," here are a few thoughts. 

• You are not alone! Many biblical characters and many great Christian leaders struggled with depression at least part of the time in their lives. In the Bible, Elijah comes into view, along with David (read the psalms!) and even Paul (read between the lines of some of his letters!). And church history reveals that Martin Luther and Spurgeon and many others also wrestled with depression. (Randy Alcorn has written a great three part series on Spurgeon and depression which you can access here!)
•  Don't assume that depression is always an entirely bad thing. It’s more likely that it’s a normal thing, more so for some than others, and at times it can even be a good thing. God often reveals Himself in remarkable ways when we are in the slough of despond. I know personally that He has revealed Himself to me in those times in ways I doubt I could see any other way. He also reveals a lot about us in those times (Elijah's encounter on Mount Sinai comes to mind--see 1 Kings 19). I have discovered that God always meets me there in the pit, and even pursues me to the very bottom if necessary. 

    In the midst of depression, one often loses the motivation to address anything. Nevertheless, here are a few strategies that have helped me when I have found myself in the shadows. Maybe one or more of them will help you.

• Don’t get depressed about being depressed! It helps me, at least, to remember that it is not sinful or faithless or defective to be depressed. It also helps to remember that "this too shall pass," even though it certainly doesn't feel like it at the time!
• If you are subject to cycles of depression then, until God fully heals you, consider preparing in advance for the down times. During my long battle with being bi-polar I would use my "high times" to prepare for the down times by memorizing helpful Scriptures, saving grunt work for the down times (it helps to feel like you are doing something useful!), deepening my intimacy with God, scheduling wisely so that I didn't face high stress things during the cycle, etc. I think you get the picture. I learned somewhere along the way that although I couldn't supply the motivation to do the right things during the depression, I could find motivation during the more normal times and prepare in advance, at least in some ways.
• Resist the tendency to isolate. Give friends who love you and understand depression the opportunity to hold your heart and pray for you, to pursue you as you go sliding into the pit. Yes, it takes a huge act of the will to do this, but my experience is that once the decision to reach out is made, the rest of it is a little easier.
• Find the things that lift you and have them in readiness (worship music, exercise and/or hard physical work, fishing, quoting Scripture all help me).
• During the down times don't expose yourself to things that add to your depression. For example, I stay away from the news media as a general rule, but I especially avoid it when I am down (particularly right now!). Yes, sometimes becoming aware of some "depressing things" can't be avoided, but it helps to avoid the avoidable.
• Let God hold onto you (notice how I phrased this). As He did with Elijah, God will pursue you down into the depths of your despair. Yes, as was also the case for Elijah, He may not show up or address things like you expect, but He will be there. I remember Papa telling me once to look for His table in the midst of my enemies (Psalm 23:5). When I asked Him how I would find it, He said, "Follow the fragrance of my Presence." I knew that what He meant was that I was familiar enough with His Presence to lean into Him at least in some small way. And as I did so, I found the table of His comfort and could linger there even if the depression also lingered. If I am going to be depressed (which is not as common these days as pre-2004), I will at least be depressed in God's presence!

     Wow. This is a long one, eh? I have been wanting to write about this for a long time, and I guess I saved up a wee bit too much! But perhaps there is a little something for someone here in this flood of words. I could write more, methinks, because of all that God has taught me, but that needs to be later!

Tom, one of Abba's deeply loved children