I am not sure why this is so hard for me/us to grasp. Maybe it isn't for you. But even though I have had this worked into me for many years now, even though I have written similar words to what I write today (see, for example, the following previous blogs by clicking here or here.), I still tend to forget that God's basic nature is one of patient, unfailing, endless love (the settled commitment to do what is best for me, no matter what it costs Him along with deep affection for me and much more).
I smile as I write this, though, because God's patience with us is why He keeps reminding us that He is patient! And God's love for us is why He keeps reminding us and showing us (in thousands of ways) that He loves us! We find ourselves in a beautiful quandary: no matter which way we turn, we run into His love!
But does His patience with us give us permission to take advantage of Him or to continue to wallow in self-focus or engage in harmful things? Of course not. God's love for us is what leads us to transformation and gives us the power to get there (both in choosing and in doing). What His patience does is give us an always-present, safe Person to run to, no matter what. Father knows that He alone is our refuge, He alone can lead us to wholeness and purposeful living. He alone gives fruitfulness and life, not as some sort of Heavenly Santa Claus but as a loving Parent who guides His children to mature partnership with Him in His purposes. So it is that He will pursue us with His patience and chase us down with His love neither to leave us in a mess nor to "make things magically easy" but to bring us once again into the sphere of His transforming love and power.
So what about you? Do you need a reminder of Papa's patience and love for you today? I feel like I am still a toddler in terms of really understanding intimacy with Him and/or how to partner with Him in His purposes, yet if I don't lean on His patience I become discouraged and disabled. Perhaps that's why He and I had the following interchange yesterday as He once again reminded me of the "golden strand of His goodness." Now I invite you to step into the inner sanctuary of my heart as He and I converse. Perhaps something in our conversation will speak to you as well. I close with this excerpt from my journal.
(Excerpted from my journal, December 28, 2012). "I am
making progress, Papa, as you lead and shape me. Forgive me for complaining
along the way. I suppose I would do that less if I would just let you love me.
I realized afresh this morning (or was it last night) how little I truly
understand intimacy with you and how I have tended to view even the
journey into intimacy as a series of things to be checked off a list! Show me
your ways, bring me into your heart, I pray, Papa. I can’t even understand this, and certainly can’t live this, unless you aid me all along the way.
'It’s not that hard, little one. Just keep listening and allowing me to love you! I won’t lose track of you nor will I run out of love and patience.'
Ah,
Father. That last line especially gets to me: you never run out of patience! I
need to remember that 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 really is a description of who you
always are." 'It’s not that hard, little one. Just keep listening and allowing me to love you! I won’t lose track of you nor will I run out of love and patience.'
Marveling at His abounding love,
Tom, one of His little children