From My Heart

I am going to try to post every week now for a while--we will see how that really works!

I have said before that I believe that God wants to bring at least four streams together in bringing His people to health. I have described them in various ways but essentially they involve intimacy with Him, truly biblical discipleship, incredible supernatural power and very simple "structures."

Today, I give you a glimpse into my heart as I ponder these things. The following is straight from my journal on July 15, 2008. Note that this is a running conversation with God. Also, "Pai" is Portuguese for "father."

I am learning to let you “bring things” to me instead of trying to make things happen. Two days in a row now you have brought the two major concerns into the light with people I love. On Sunday night I have the deep conversation with ____, then yesterday I have one with ___. I know you smile when I say this, of course, but the wonder in my heart at how well this works is great—wow! This really, really is the best way to live. How did we miss it for so long?
But now I come, beloved Pai. I need to draw near while it’s reasonably quiet, methinks!
Well, the quiet never materialized, so I have retreated into music. Thank you, Papa, for two things you have already shown me in Scripture this morning. Psalm 25:4 literally says, “Make me to know your ways” which is a stronger appeal, I think, and speaks of true dependence. Then for the first time I notice in Exodus 33 that you say to Moses, “I know you by name” (twice) but Moses’ appeal is “That I may know you!” Big thought!
Papa, I see the convergence more and more of all that you have been saying to me as you guide my reading. Today, Smith Wigglesworth speaks again of living always “in the Spirit” and how authority and power come from that place. And that place is only available to those who live fully yielded to your will (and who live saturated by your presence). Thomas Kelly, too, as I finished “Holy Obedience,” echoes the same thought. It seems that the childlikeness of a little child is to be combined with the obedience of a son (Hebrews 5:7-8, et al.), all of which take place in a supernatural realm that opens up to us as we live a truly God-centered life. Ah, Father, Kelly’s words on pages 73-76 are almost overpowering in their force and their clear application and affirmation! And since you had me memorize Psalm 40:6-8 I seem to have been in a deep change that keeps getting deeper and better, and all I can say is more, Lord, more! For your honor and glory, because of my love for you that you are stoking into flame, more!
Father, the OT prophets and others seemed to hear you only occasionally, see things only at your bidding (with some rare exceptions like Moses, David and Elisha). As I pondered this, I think you said the following.
“Servants hear only when the Master has instructions, child, but children have the privilege of hearing Father’s voice often. Indeed, anytime they wish to ‘run in’ and converse, they can. Yes, child, even today many function only as servants and not as my friends, my sons and daughters. Even you lived that way once, and you are still very much learning to live as a son. But I will teach you!”
3:50 p.m. Papa, the things you revealed to ____ and me today are too important not to write down. First, you continue to press us both to honor our wives and truly love them as Jesus loves His Bride by seeking to help them become all they were created to be. Then today you have me ask ___, “What is Jesus doing right now for the Church?” The answer is, “He is interceding,” and the second question proceeds from this: “What does it mean to pray for my wife the way that Jesus prays for the Church?” Much to ponder, much to change, methinks!

Just some personal thoughts, from my heart. What do you think?

Tom, Abba's least child