No Eagle Flies by Fighting the Wind

I can't seem to find a rhythm to write these days with my need to care for Jettie, but there is a pause today that allows me to write something that touches the very core of my understanding of life with the Lord Jesus: the place of surrendered abandonment to Him and His purposes.

I have been thinking much about surrender of late--the most recent time came the other morning when I realized how little I even thought about living surrendered just a few years ago. Because of that a lot of garbage came into my life and a lot of pain was inflicted on others, methinks. But because Father has told me never to live in regret, I don't dwell on things like that but instead allow them to propel me into the present moment. And when that happened the other morning I found my heart very much wanting to yield and yield an yield to my loving Abba. And that led me to think about others who have written about surrender and the absolute necessity of it (how else can one be led by the Spirit if s/he isn't listening and surrendering to the nudges of the Spirit?).

I thought of Andrew Murray's story of how he came to write about his incredible book, Absolute Surrender. "Absolute surrender. Let me tell you where I got those words. I used them myself often...but once in Scotland, I was in a company where we were talking about the condition of Christ's Church, and what the great need of the Church and of believers is. There was in our company a godly Christian worker who has much to do in training others workers for Christ, and I asked him what he would say was the great need of the Church--the message that ought to be taught. He answered very quietly and simply and determinedly: 'Absolute surrender to God is the one thing.' Andrew Murray then goes on to tell how this dear saint described that if followers of Jesus are sound on that point, everything else follows, but if not, they would often abandon their work in the Kingdom.

Then I thought about a young Russian whom Smith Wigglesworth describes in one of his messages. "As the wonderful manifestations of the power of God were seen, the people pressed upon him to know the secret of his power, but he felt it was so secret between him and God that he should not tell it. But they pressed him so much that he said to them: 'First God called me, and His presence was so precious that I said to God at every call I would obey Him, and I yielded and yielded, until I realized that I was simply clothed with another power altogether, and I realized that God took me, tongue, thoughts, and everything and I was not myself but it was Christ working through me." (The Wigglesworth Standard by Peter Madden, pp. 60-61).

Then the lights come on and I weep and say, "Ah, Father, we are such an unsurrendered people! No wonder your people today are so lost, so broken, so similar to the culture around them! Even those who think they are 'serving God' often do so from their own initiative and strength. And many don’t even think for a moment about yielding everything, all the time. (Not in slavery, but in childlike conversation with you as Abba). Ah, Father…no wonder we are so powerless! How can you entrust us with your power and glory?"

And now my heart cries out, "But let it not be so any longer, O Most High! Woo us with your love into abandonment to your will! Blind us with your brightness, stun us with your goodness, purge us with your holiness, but don't leave us in our stubborn state!"

I close with a short quote from my journal just a few days ago. It begins what I sensed Father saying to me (in blue text followed by my words in dark red).

"Yes, little one, when men yield and yield to the adversary, he takes them over—possesses them—by force. How much more then will I possess those who yield and yield to my gentleness and power? Yielding is the key to fullness, and I am taking you there. Don’t dwell on that which is past except as I lead you, little one. What I am doing, what I always do, is new and fresh. Yield to me, child, but don’t despair as you learn this, I will make your yes a true yes! Fly on My Wind! Eagle’s fly by yielding, by positioning themselves to catch every subtle nuance of the Wind!”

Father, I am realizing as I sit and ponder this yielded life that the old prophet had in The Quest for the King, has much to say to me. He is described as “possessed by Another’s holiness” and as one who was sustained by Power beyond himself. That is evidently how Smith Wigglesworth lived, isn’t it? And it’s where you are taking me. Oh, Lord God! Keep leading me there, I pray! As the Hillsong music says, “I give my life to the Potter’s hand.” Ah, Father, no eagle flies by fighting the wind!

Not sure what you think of all this, but this is what is on my heart these days...

Leaning into absolute surrender.

Tom, one of Abba's children

Quotable quotes

Many of you may know that George MacDonald, Scottish author (and clergyman), was very influential in the lives of prominent Christian authors, C.S. Lewis, G.K. Chesterton and J.R.R. Tolkein. I have known this, too, for quite some time and since these authors have deeply influenced me, I thought it was about time to read some MacDonald for myself. When I found the complete works of this author available for free in a Kindle version, I knew my time had come.

I have discovered a treasure chest of wonder as I have worked through a number of his novels. The man was incredibly ahead of his time in terms of truly catching the heart of God. In contrast to the dark, oppressive, repressive and negative extreme Calvinism in Scotland at the time, George MacDonald revealed a God of love and kindness who revealed Himself joyfully in all of creation and who pursued every single person on the planet with goodness and mercy. And since my week has been quite strenuous, I thought it wise to share someone else's treasure rather than trying to find any of my own! Consider the following quotes and see what you think.

First, some thoughts from Annals of a Quiet Neighborhood. (an Anglican vicar's memoirs of early years in his parish).

"If I can put one touch of a rosy sunset into the life of any man or woman of my cure, I shall feel that I have worked with God." (Think about this!)

"People talk about special providences. I believe in the providences, but not the specialty. I do not believe that God lets the thread of my affairs go for six days, and the seventh evening takes it up for a moment. The so-called special providences are no exception to the rule--they are common to all men at all moments. But it is a fact that God's care is more evident in some instances than in others to the dim and often bewildered vision of humanity. Upon such instances men seize and call them providences. It is well that they can, but it would be gloriously better if they could believe that the whole matter is one grand providence." (a providence is a gracious act of God, particularly related to His provision. MacDonald believed that all of life was one continuing stream of God's gracious acts).

And I love this dialogue later in the same book.

"telling his flock that God loves them, and that they will never be happy until they believe it."

"They may believe that too soon."

"I don't believe anyone can believe the truth too soon."

And just one more (I have hundreds marked!)

"Until we love the Lord so as to do what He tells us, we have no right to an opinion about what one of those men meant (TW note: the authors of the books of the Bible, especially the NT); for all they wrote is about things beyond us. The simplest woman who tries not to judge her neighbor, or not to be anxious for the morrow, will better know what is best to know, than the best read bishop without that one simple outgoing of his highest nature in the effort to do the will of Him who thus spoke."

I am not sure that these even begin to capture the wonder you can find in this man's works, and I recognize that his writing style is quite challenging for many in our "instant" world, but perhaps you of childlike heart will have your appetite's whetted for more. MacDonald "claimed to have written for the 'childlike,' both young and old." (Listening to the Heartbeat of God by Philip Newell, p. 61). Perhaps you share in that childlikeness and will with me and many others catch the wonder in moment, in the ordinary, and in the others around you. I have found that authors like MacDonald help me to do so.

Pausing to wonder in the midst of pain,

Tom, one of Abba's little children

Inspector or Loving Father?

So when God asks you a question, do you hear invitation or accusation? The past few days I have been thinking about how easy it is to put a negative spin on the questions God asks me (or people in the Bible). For example, "Why are you afraid?" may sound to me like I am defective because I am instead of an invitation to trust Him when I am afraid (Psalm 56:3). And "Where is your faith?" may sound like an accusation about unbelief instead of an invitation to explore God's love and power in ways that increase my trust. You get the picture, I think.

I think that we tend to put a negative spin on what God says because we still very much need our "paradigms" adjusted in terms of who God is and what He is really like to those of us who are His children. Recently I reviewed some words by Andrew Murray, from With Christ in the School of Prayer, that helped me return to a healthier understand of who God really is. He is not our heavenly Inspector, He is our loving Father! See what you think.

We are afraid to take God as our tender Father. We think of Him as a schoolmaster or an inspector, who knows nothing about us except through our lessons... We aren't supposed to learn to be holy as a hard lesson at school so we can make God think well of us. We are to learn it at home with the Father to help us. God loves you not because you are clever or good, but because He is your Father. The cross of Christ does not make God love us. It is the outcome of His love to us. His love lies underneath everything. We must grasp it as the solid foundation of our religious life, not growing up into that love, but growing up out of it.

Meditate on the words “our Father.” Say them over to yourself until you feel something of their wonderful truth. They mean that I am bound to God by the closest and tenderest relationship, and that I have a right to His love, His power, and His blessing in a way no one else could give me... Imagine the boldness with which we can approach Him! It means that all His infinite love, patience, and wisdom reach down to help me. There is infinitely more implied by this relationship than the possibility of holiness.

We are to begin in the patient love of our Father. Think about how He knows us personally, as individuals with all our peculiarities, our weaknesses, and our difficulties. The master judges by the result, but our Father judges by the effort.

Don't you love that last line? But please don't read into it that God's first response to you is judgement! The point is that God as Father is always for us and not against, never looking for reason to condemn us but always looking for reasons to commend us. Will correction come? Yes, but if it comes it will bring hope and power to change because He is our loving Father, not the Heavenly Inspector!

Just reflecting on our loving Father...

Tom, one of His little children.

It's About Love

"You know that every traitor belongs to me as my lawful prey and that for every treachery I have a right to a kill."... "And so," said the Witch, "that human creature is mine. His life is forfeit to me. His blood is my property." With these words the great Christian author, C.S. Lewis lays out in The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe the human condition that gave God His opportunity to reveal His glory in awesome ways. In this description, C.S. Lewis, reveals that he (rightly, in my opinion) held a view of the cross that makes Jesus' sacrifice a ransom paid to set people free from the devil who gained rights to them because of their aligning themselves with him through sin.

Theologians have argued down through the centuries about the exact reasons why Jesus' death was necessary. Now I have my own theories about this, too, but I wonder if it's wise to try to figure all of that out, especially if it leads us away from what Jesus' dying for us is most about: God's passionate, pursuing and relentless love for you and me. A quick review of the scriptures shows us that by far the most frequent company the cross is found in is love and the reconciliation with God that God's love brings to the captive and estranged sons and daughters of Adam and Eve. Consider just a few of the many passages that underscore this.

For God loved the world of men so much that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever trusts in him should not perish but have eternal life. (TW paraphrase)

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13 NIV)

But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8 NIV)

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. (1 John 4:10 NIV -- italics mine)

For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to Himself...(2 Corinthians 5:19a NKJV)

For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. (Colossians 1:19-20 NIV)

I am sure you see it. God's love for each and all of us, infinite in both its measure and its intensity, is what the cross is most about. And that love opened the way for us to be reconciled to the One who treasures us most, treasured you so much that Father, Son and Spirit paid an unthinkable price to make it possible for you to be called beloved daughter/son of the Most High God. This is not theoretical, dear ones, nor is it theological: it is the eternal declaration of the value of each and every person ever to reside on this planet, including you and me. No wonder, then, that those of us who have begun to glimpse just the slightest bit of this are in tearful, joyful awe of this most holy day!

"Nail-pierced hands, a wounded side; this is love, this is love. The holy heart was sacrificed. This is love. This is love." (Lyrics from This is Love by Terry Butler and Mike Young)

Barely understanding His love,

Tom, one of Abba's little children

Did God Really Say...?

Why is it so hard to trust Him? God's fingerprints are all over our lives, He patiently repeats Himself in a thousand ways (at least He does for me), He reveals Himself to be completely faithful as we look back at our lives, yet in the moment it is often hard (feels impossible) to trust Him.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately as our journey to wholeness continues to take longer than Jettie and I had hoped. There are, of course, many answers to this question, but I want to focus on one that I believe is our adversary's "first choice" of weapons, the one he used at the beginning to entice our ancestors away from their childlike trust in God: "Did God really say?" As you may know, this is the first question that the serpent asked Eve in his successful attempt to shift our first parents' trust from God to themselves. (Note that it was really a transfer of trust first to the serpent, but that's another topic).

It seems to me that most of my journeys away from trust somehow involve some level of questioning what God has said, either in His written word or through His Spirit. The thought seems to creep in that I really didn't hear Him or that I don't really understand it, etc. What is so sneaky about this question is that it's effective not because of the question itself but because it subtly shifts my focus away from God. Suddenly I am now "in charge" and I am making judgments, etc., about things that are way beyond my ability to handle. Even worse, I am now looking at the world and circumstances in a way that is essentially the same as an atheist! I am now left basically acting as if I were on my own, analyzing, deciding, etc., on the basis of my very limited human ability to perceive and reason. Yikes--this is scary just thinking about it!

Even more sneaky is the subtle way this question causes me to doubt God's character. Can God be trusted to communicate with me in a way that I understand? Or am I somehow so defective that even God can't or won't get through to me? Such thinking ultimately is a question about God and His nature, not about me, since it calls into question His goodness, His love, etc.

So what's the solution when we begin to hear 'Did God really say?' in our minds? For me it helps to review and remember what God has for sure said. As I have grown older I have deposited more and more Scripture into my memory (at His leading, not my deciding). This memory deposit gives God the opportunity to "repeat Himself" often when things are shaky or unclear to me. I also keep a journal of things God has clearly said (very often confirmed by others), and it helps to review those things often. These two things help me to answer my adversary or my own mind with the words, "Yes, God has said" and/or "No, God didn't say..."

A second thing that helps me is to remember that hearing Him is more about His ability to communicate with those He loves than about our ability to hear Him. There's a great conversation about this in So You Don't Want to Go To Church Anymore. In response to the question, "Do you really believe we are good enough to hear God every day?" The main character, John, says, “Of course not. None of us are that good. But I think you’re asking the wrong question. Let’s phrase it like this: Is Jesus big enough to get through to you every day? Do you think he is big enough to get past your blind spots, overcome your doubts and show you his way? Doesn’t that get a resounding ‘yes’?"

Finally, I have found that simply returning to Him in my heart, however long it takes for me to get there, so that I am focusing on His character, helps perhaps more than anything. As Graham Cooke often says, we cannot put our trust in what God is doing in the moment (because we couldn't possibly understand it), but we can also put our trust in His character--who He is. And I find that turning to Him in childlike, surrendered waiting, always brings His presence and reminders of His goodness.

Is it easy to trust Him? I haven't found that to be the case. We have had way too much practice at trusting ourselves for it to be easy to trust Him (and there are adversaries who oppose this). But since God loves us and wants us to trust Him, He will persist in inviting us to do so, "shouting in our pain" as C.S. Lewis said, and repeating Himself often.

Learning to trust...

Tom, one of Abba's children

"I'm Sorry" isn't Enough

When our sons were small, we did what a lot of parents do when a conflict arose between them. After emotions had cooled off, we would have them face one another and have them exchange forgiveness. The offending party would say, "Please forgive me," and the other one would dutifully (if not always sincerely) say, "I forgive you." Notice that we didn't have them say, "I'm sorry" or "I apologize"--I will return to that in a moment.

Now I will be the first to admit that "forced reconciliation" doesn't work, but we weren't really expecting genuine forgiveness to be exchanged at the moment our sons were being required to say these words. Instead we were attempting to set a pattern in their lives, which as we modeled it with sincerity, would lead to a teaching moment later when we would be able to explain why the exchange of forgiveness and not simply an apology is so important. We knew that this pattern when combined with the many times they saw Daddy or Mommy come to one of them and say (sincerely), "Daddy/Mommy was wrong, please forgive me" or saw Daddy say to Mommy, "Please forgive me," would eventually help them understand the supreme importance of relationships.

Now back to why "I'm sorry" or "I apologize" isn't enough. Do you know? It's not too hard to figure out. Look at the language of both of these phrases: who is the focus? Answer: I am. So neither of these terms expresses my valuing the other person or the relationship. (The word "apology" actually comes from a word that means to make a defense, hardly a concept that is consistent with reconciliation!). On the other hand, when I ask, "Will you please forgive me?" The focus has rightly shifted away from me to the person I have hurt. I am recognizing that I have wounded this person and I am telling him/her that I value my relationship with them enough to want the obstacle of my hurting them removed from between us. I am saying, "I have hurt you, and I treasure you and our relationship so much that I am asking you to release me back into the circle of your love."

But I wonder if even "I forgive" is always enough to fully communicate my value of the relationship. There are many times, I think, when I also need to offer to make things right, when I need to assure the other person that I will with God's help not harm them in this way again, etc. These ideas also communicate the value I place on the relationship. The bottom line, I think, is that if we begin with treasuring the other person and the relationship, God will show us how to achieve full reconciliation (which may take time if the wounds are deep, or may not happen at all if the other refuses to forgive, but that's another topic). Whatever the Father leads you/me to, though, I am certain that "I'm sorry" isn't quite enough!

A friend of mine recently gave me The Five Languages of Apology (Gary Chapman & Jennifer Thomas), which has an unfortunate title (Apology????!), but a quick glance at it reveals these same truths spelled out a bit more fully. The authors show five parts to the approach to reconciliation they call apology: "expressing regret, accepting responsibility, making restitution, genuinely repenting, requesting forgiveness." If you have read the book and want to comment on it, I would welcome your thoughts as well.

Enough for today, I think. May you learn to treasure others as much as Father treasures you and them (each and all of them) and may you know the joy of His total forgiveness that so wonderfully enables each of us to treasure relationship above "being right"!

Tom, one of Abba's children

God's View of Failure

     God seems to have a totally different view of failure than we do. He obviously doesn't fear failure in Himself, and He doesn't fear it in you and me, either. A couple of stories from the life of Simon Peter, an accomplished "failer," help us to see how God views failure.

     The first of Peter's failures I want to highlight is a story that may be familiar to you: Peter's bumpy walk on the waters of the Sea of Galilee. The story is found in Matthew 16:28-31 and it shows us Peter boldly asking Jesus to invite him to walk to Him then actually getting out of the boat when Jesus said, "Come!" But as you may know, Peter didn't make it out to where Jesus was before he started sinking and had to cry out to Jesus to save him. What's intriguing about the story is what Jesus did and didn't do. When Peter cried out for help, Jesus immediately reached out His hand and rescued Peter and apparently walked with Peter back to the boat. He didn't let Peter flounder in his failure or lecture him for a while before saving him, instead Jesus immediately came to Peter's rescue. Yes, He did ask Peter (perhaps even playfully), "O mini-faithed one, why did you doubt?" But that question came after the rescue, not in order for the rescue to take place. (Think about it).

     This story reveals a very important truth about God's view of failure and our response to our own failures. Andrew Murray put his finger on this many years ago in his book, The Deeper Christian Walk. Consider his words below.
     Someone may say, “I have been trying, to say, ‘Lord, I will live it;’ but, tell me, suppose failure come, what then?” Learn from Peter what you ought to do. What did Peter do? The very opposite of what most do. What did he do when he began to sink? That very moment, without one word of self-reproach or self-condemnation, he cried, “Lord, help me!” I wish I could teach every Christian that. I remember the time in my spiritual life when that became clear to me; for up to that time, when I failed, my only thought was to reproach and condemn myself, and I thought that would do me good. I found it didn’t do me good; and I learn from Peter that my work is, the very moment I fail, to say, “Jesus, Master, help me!” and the very moment I say that, Jesus does help me. Remember, failure is not an impossibility!...Jesus is always ready to hear, and the very moment you find there is the lost temper, the hasty word, or some other wrong, at once the living Jesus is near, so gracious, and so mighty. Appeal to Him and there will be help at once. If you learn to do this, Jesus will lift you up and lead you on to a walk where His strength shall secure you from failure.

     Parts of the my second story about Peter's failure are well known (Peter's three time denial of Jesus), but I want to focus on a less well known part of that story found in Luke 22:31-34. 31 “Simon, Simon! Satan has asked to sift you disciples like wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, Simon. I have prayed that your faith will not fail. When you have turned back, help your brothers to be strong.” 33 But Simon replied, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.” 34Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, you will say three times that you don’t know me. And you will do it before the rooster crows today.” (NIRV)

     Several things about failure really stand out to me in this story. First, Jesus was fully aware of the impending failure of all of His disciples (due to Satan's sifting), including Simon, and He prepared them for this by warning them ahead of time and by praying for Simon in particular. Wow! Did you catch that? Jesus is anticipating failure and praying about it before it happens. (He is constantly praying for you and me, too! See Romans 8:34). Second, Jesus seems to view failure in a different way than we do. He prayed for Simon's faith not to fail, but Peter's faith did fail at least for a while during the three denials, so what's up with that? My guess is that Jesus views faith as a process--with bumps and temporary failures along the way as part of the package. In other words, He looks at the entire picture and not just the occasional failures along the way. I wonder if He really views our failures this way. (I think He does!). Finally, Jesus is so unafraid of Simon's failure that in predicting it He calls Simon by the name He gave him (Rock)! This is huge to me. Even as He predicts Simon's failure, Jesus is saying, "But you are still a Rock (Peter) in my view!" I wonder if that's how He views us (as He is making us)? (I think He does).

     This is all very precious to me right now. I failed miserably the other day by losing my temper while driving in a snow storm. Jettie had to listen to me have a melt down that culminated in me suggesting things about another driver's ancestry. (I will leave you to fill in the gaps on this). This is terribly out of character for me (thankfully), but I was appalled that I allowed fear to make me so vulnerable to anger.

    But it's what Papa said about it the next day that blows me away and also confirms that He views failure in a very different way from how I tend to view it. I paste below what I sensed were His words to me.

     "I am not disappointed in you but rather I feel your fears and like any good father, am grieved because of that which assaults you. Don’t be afraid, little one. I am holding onto you and your beloved, and I will continue to hold on. Whenever your foot is slipping, my love will surely support you. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, I will be there in the midst of your pain and fear, holding onto you more tightly than you can imagine."

     I was so undone by these words. Instead of God judging me during my anxious and angry moments, He was feeling the pain and assault on me that brought me to that point, and He was in the midst of my failure even as it was happening. Yes, God's view of failure is very different from ours. And I am so thankful!

Tom, one of Abba's children